S1E10 – 26 August 2020
I don't care
This week we're exploring why we often really do care when we say "I don't care". And what we can try instead.
A quick announcement before we get started.
Thank you so much for taking the time to take a quick pause with me. This is going to be the last episode of season one. A quick pause is having a quick pause itself and will be back in October for season two. If you haven't yet, make sure to subscribe, so you don't miss out when we're back.
Thanks. Now, on to the show.
I don't care. I don't mind. I don't give a darn. Whatever. I can't be bothered. I'm so over it.
Welcome to a quick pause. A weekly podcast offering a moment of reflection, a chance to care for ourselves and to show up for each other.
Each week I'll offer you an inspiration and a practice to try.
It's quite easy to declare "I don't care!" and all too often we use these words when we really do care, but we feel like there's no way out of a situation we're stuck in, or maybe we're trying to stop a discussion that went a bit sour.
And somehow we expect that once we said "I don't care", things magically resolve themselves. Which, admittedly, they rarely do.
Of course some things we really don't have much of an opinion on. I surely don't always have a good answer if someone asks me what I want to eat.
So this week, I invite you to notice those moments when you say or think "I don't care". Or any variation thereof.
What are the topics and situations where you really do care, but you make a throwaway comment to distract from it.
Ask yourself: How do I really feel about this? Why do I care? And why do I say I do't care? Am I expecting something? Did I communicate that clearly? Is this something I can change?
From here you have two options:
If it's something you can change, go ahead and do it. Have that awkward conversation where you say what you want, or go clean your house if it's messy.
And if it's something bigger, you might not be able to change it, but you can practice equanimity. Acknowledge how you feel about it. But also acknowledge that you can't change it. Watch your thoughts and feelings like a movie, without the need to judge or change them.
Chances are that you have strong feelings about the pandemic we're in, including some kind of helplessness, or loss of control. And perhaps you have your own personal situation that keeps you up at night.
See what happens when you observe your thoughts and feelings, acknowledge that they're there, but allow yourself to very gently say "I don't need to care about it right now".
Moving from a "I don't care!" knee-jerk reaction to a gentle step back where you might still care in your heart, but allow your mind to stop analyzing and trying to fix things for a moment.
I care and I recognize I can't change it. I care and I know it's not up to me to fix it. I care and I can get back to it when i have time and energy.
That's it. If you want to dive in deeper, take out your notebook and reflect on a topic that you care a lot about, the one that keeps you up at night.
Quick reminder, this was the last episode of season one, we'll be back in a few weeks with season two. Until then, remember to take a quick pause every now and then.
Thanks for coming on this journey with me. Now, go on, allow yourself to feel without having to change everything.
I'm Jonas Haefele and this was a Quick Pause.